Someone with NPD might belittle your interests to make themselves feel superior. If you take an interest in reading philosophy, for example, they might say something like, “Why would you want to read that?”
If you confront a narcissist about being unfaithful, they may lie and accuse you of bad behavior so that you will question yourself instead. They might say, “I can’t believe you would accuse me of that. You’re so controlling and jealous. "
A spiritual narcissist might use spiritual text to justify why they are always right. Or, they might act like they are superior because they have a deeper relationship with a higher power.
If the narcissist in your life makes you feel like you’re a bad person, don’t believe them. You might think to yourself, “I may not be perfect, but I try my best to always be kind. " If you left a narcissist and feel guilty, treat yourself with compassion. You might think, “I did everything I could to be a good friend to them, but I have to take care of myself now. "
To set boundaries with a narcissistic parent, you might say, “Next time you criticize me in front of my kids, I expect an apology. If you don’t apologize, the kids and I will go home. " It’s possible the narcissist still won’t respect your boundaries after making them clear. This is not your fault. If this happens, it may be time to reconsider your relationship and minimize the time you spend with them if you can.
If a narcissist is treating you badly, you might think that showing them kindness and love will make them treat you better. Unfortunately, there is often no amount of love that can convince a narcissist to treat you with love and respect.
As challenging as it may be, dealing with a narcissist can teach you how to set boundaries and prioritize your own wellbeing. Identifying a narcissist in your life can also help you spot the signs of narcissism in others much earlier so that you can avoid getting close to them.
If you recently left a narcissist, remind yourself of the supportive friends that are here to build you up again. Or, think of the activities that can still bring you joy, like painting, playing music, or spending time in nature.
To grow spiritually and seek support, join a spiritual community. Try visiting a local church or religious community. If you’re not religious, volunteer to help your community and spend time with others.
To make forgiveness easier, try writing out your feelings in a journal. Let out all of your feelings of hurt, anger, and frustration. This can help you symbolically let go of the pain they caused you. Forgiveness takes time. If you don’t feel ready to forgive this person yet, that’s okay. You might try making it a goal to forgive them in the future instead.
